Where there is a WILL, there is a way!

Hello friends!

Here I am, slacking again on keeping my blog up to date, but this time I have a good excuse... we have been so busy and having so much fun preparing for the arrival of our little guy that I just haven't felt like sitting down in front of the computer.

At least two or three times a week, a great idea for a blog post crosses my mind, but by the time I get home I just can't muster the energy to sit in one place for enough time to get my thoughts out in a post.

This post will be brief, as it's getting late and I'm still recovering from daylight savings time sleep deprivation, but so much great stuff has been happening I wanted to keep you all in the loop.
"hindsight" edit- who am I kidding?  I don't know how to do "brief"

The day after I wrote my last post, we got news that our letter of intent to adopt our son was accepted, and also that our Dossier (big packet of paperwork) was officially "logged in" to China's system... officially putting us in the LOA wait.  Many people say that the wait for LOA is the most agonizing part of the adoption process, but for us it has been the most fun... we finally know who our child is, and can start preparing for their arrival.  I feel like I'm in the third trimester of pregnancy without the swollen feet and ankles, aching back, sleepless nights, and constant runs to the bathroom.

I have been connecting with many other families who have adopted from our son's orphanage/foster home and have been able to find so many photos of him... such a blessing!

Now, for the moment you have all been waiting for... ready to meet our son? (many of you have already seen photos on Facebook, but in case you haven't, here he is!)

Meet William TianYi Hawkins!

Yep, that's right, we've also decided on a name!  His Chinese name is Tian Yi, which translates as Tian= Heaven, Yi=wish   this prounounced "Tee-En  Yee".  I can't think of a better fitting name... wish from heaven... yep, that's him!
We decided early in the process that we would give him a more traditional first name and keep his all or part of his Chinese name as his middle name.  Because we won't want to take away from the full meaning of his name we will push the two names together, but keep the Y capitalized... TianYi.

As I touched on in my last post, Will has malformations of all four of his limbs, namely his hands and feet.  He was born without any fingers, and only one or two toes on each foot.  But don't you worry, this little guy is going to be running laps around us and proving to us daily that you can do anything you set your mind to.  It is clear his nannies have done an excellent job teaching him the importance of having a positive outlook... he is ALWAYS smiling and laughing in all of the photos and videos we see of him.

I love the name "Will" because it means "determined (protector)".  When we got his file they sent us quite a few videos of him performing various tasks, such as stringing beads, turning the pages of a book, drawing with a pencil, sorting toys, etc... the very first thing that James and I noticed about him was how determined and focused he is.  He does not let his limb difference slow him down one bit, and everything I've read about him echos the sentiment that this little boy is determined to do everything for himself.

So there you have it, we have our Will. :)

We started working on his bedroom, and this past weekend my mom and I went to a couple of consignment sales and to Target to pick up some toys and bedroom decor for him.  I got a great deal on a train table, and wouldn't you know my parents, my husband and I spent quite a while working together to set up the track and "test out" the equipment... :)

We still have a long-ish road ahead of us, and we are still not fully funded for our journey, but I have decided to take a little break from grant applications and constant worry about the funding.  We fully trust that everything will fall into place as needed.

Of course we are still pinching pennies and saving whatever we can (and I've been able to get some overtime hours in at work due to the busy season for mortgages starting), but I was just becoming so consumed with financial worry that I was missing out on soaking up this special time for our family.

Our puzzle fundraiser will continue to run until we travel to pick him up, and as it stands our puzzle is still only 25% complete.  If you would like to sponsor any pieces, please refer to the instructions for doing so by clicking HERE.

 Unless we receive any of the grants we have applied for so far, we are currently about $5,000 short of being able to fully cover the costs of our remaining fees and agency costs.  Knowing that it is unlikely that we will face huge medical costs when we arrive home sets my mind at ease, and if we have to take out a small loan to cover the remaining expenses then we will certainly do that. 

I'm also considering a small yard sale in May during our neighborhood sales, but I'm not sure I can pull it off due to having a VERY busy couple of months ahead of us.  Between now and the time we travel we have 4 baby showers, a wedding (that we are both standing up in), and a few small projects on the house we'd like to get done.... but that's ok!  The busier we are, the faster time will pass, right? ;)

I just cannot explain to you the amount of love we have in our hearts for this little boy, and how quickly it grew.  We think about him all day, we dream about being with him and playing trains, and we talk about the things we will learn together and the experiences we can't wait to share with him.  Our first few months together will likely be very difficult months-  he has spent his entire life in a wonderful foster home with very dedicated nannies who love him dearly and care for him as their own.  He will be experiencing tremendous loss, fear, and confusion.  While we know this, we also know that God has a plan for this child and for our family, and that He will be with us as we walk through the dark days and will carry all of us through the struggles.

I will do my best to keep up as things progress, but there are the steps we are waiting on.

We are currently in day 25 of our "LOA wait", and expect to be waiting at least 2 more weeks before we receive word that our dossier and intent to adopt Will has all been cleared.  At that point we go through a series of steps to get immigration approval coordinated between the US and Chinese governements... a process that usually takes around 9 or 12 weeks.  Then we will be issued travel approval, and about 2 weeks later will hop on a plane to China!

We are in the final months (we hope!) of our lives as a "party of 2".... crazy!  It seems like this journey has gone by so quickly, and at the same time the thought of waiting three more months to meet him seems SO LONG!  We are really crossing our fingers that we will be able to travel in June, but anything is still possible...  there are still a lot of steps to get through, so I'm trying not to get my heart set on anything.  At least we know he's in a wonderful place with people who love him dearly.

We were able to send him a small care package a few weeks ago and received word that he did receive the items we sent him.  I can't really say much, but we were told  that he knows he has a family and seems happy about that fact.
Here is a photo of the items we sent to him:

We put together a little photo album with labels in Mandarin introducing us, the pets,and Grandparents so that he will be familiar with our faces when we meet

If you would like to join us in praying for our son and his nannies, that would be much appreciated.  It's helpful to remember that China is 12 hours ahead of us, so when I am getting for work every morning, he is going to bed.  When I'm going to bed he is likely eating lunch, and when I am eating dinner he is probably waking up.  I try to remember this when I pray for him.  I pray that he finds comfort in knowing that he has a mom and a dad, and that he finds courage to face the huge changes that lay ahead of him.  I also pray for comfort and peace for his caretakers.  I worked four summers at a daycare, and I STILL think of those children I cared for all of the time. I cannot imagine working with a child (and possibly even living with?) for 3 1/2 years and then having to say goodbye, not knowing if I will ever see them again.  They have been there for every one of his milestones- his first words, first steps, first bumps and bruises and illness.  They have wiped his tears, watched him laugh and run and play and soon they will have to say goodbye.  My heart truly aches at the thought that our joy accompanies others pain.  

That's all for now, good night everyone!  Thanks for following our journey!

I apologize in advance for typos or grammar errors....I am too tired to edit the post tonight! Take that, grammer Nazis!

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Hello friends!

How is it possible that more than a month has gone by since my last update?!  I guess it's a good thing that time is going by quickly, because when I think about how far we are from traveling to China I get really discouraged, but thinking about how quickly the past two months have gone gives me hope that these next ones will pass by quickly too.

I would love to tell you that I have a lot of new information to share regarding our adoption progress, but that sadly is not really the case.   We have made significant progress, just not as much as I would have liked. One of the main reasons you haven't heard from us is that there really just wasn't much information to share.  And I know that you had no interest in hearing me whine and complain about how slow everything seemed to be moving through these past couple of steps.

Another reason is that I really just needed some time to grieve through the experience of having had to say no to the first file match.  I was not expecting to be matched that early in the process, and was definitely not prepared to have to say no to a file.  I still pray for that little boy every single day.  His file is still on our agency's website which means he has not yet been matched with a family.  Please join me in saying a prayer that he will be matched soon.

Here is what has changed since my last post.

We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas holiday spending time with my parents.  My mom is going through some medical issues right now and may be feeling a little under the weather these next few months, so it was really nice to spend some quality time together and getting out and having some fun while she was still feeling up to it.  We grilled steaks on Christmas day and took a drive out to a local lake (because when it's 45 and sunny on Christmas day in Michigan... you feel the need to be at the lake I guess), we visited our local public museum, saw a movie at the theater using a gift card I've been saving up, and just enjoyed our time together.

On Monday 12/28 I sent the first 11 documents in to our adoption agency, and also notified them that we would not be pursuing the file of the little boy I had told you about.

 Here is what a 95% completed Dossier looks like:

I had already scheduled the day off work, and was able to walk in early for my fingerprinting, and thankfully they allowed me to do so.  This all worked out wonderfully because I got the paper I needed in order to do my fingerprints that day the Saturday before, just in the nick of time.
James had a busy week at work that week, so he wasn't able to go in and get his fingerprints done until his scheduled appointment time, the following Monday (1/4).
The fingerprinting is required for our US Immigration, and once you get fingerprinted you are waiting one on little piece of paper to be mailed to you to tell you that you are approved to adopt by the Department of Homeland Security.  From everything I had been reading and seeing in the adoption groups on Facebook, people were getting their approval letters on average 4-10 days after their fingerprinting appointments.  Once this paper arrived, it needed to be notarized, certified, sent to the consulate for authentication and THEN sent to our agency to complete our Dossier.

Let me tell you how hard it was to come home every day from work to check the mailbox and get NOTHING for over 2 weeks.  It doesn't help that we can only get to the Secretary of State on Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings, so each Friday and Tuesday the form didn't come it was extra disappointing.
The approval FINALLY came on Friday 1/22-  Happy Birthday to me (Yahoo for being 30 and officially old enough to adopt from China)!  So of course the next morning we raced to the bank to get it notarized and then to the Secretary of State to have it certified.  By Monday at lunchtime it was on it's way to Chicago to be authenticated.  I thought we would JUST squeak in under the deadline to get it to our agency so they could get it to China before the Chinese government closes for Chinese New Year (CNY).  Sadly,I have learned that is not the case... we missed it by about 2 days.  The form will arrive to our agency tomorrow, but since the shutdown begins next week, our agency won't mail it until after CNY to avoid it getting lost.  Totally understandable, but this is the step we've been so eagerly waiting for for so long and it was a bit of a bummer to hear that it will be delayed by at least another week.

My initial goal was to be DTC (Dossier to China) by December 31, but the delays with our home study made it clear that wouldn't happen.  Then I set the goal of having that step reached for my birthday, but of course the delay with our fingerprinting approval held that up.  And now another delay that is out of our control-the biggest holiday of the year in China.  But honestly, that is just the name of the game in international adoption- you can do everything in your power to get things done quickly, but so much of the process is really just waiting on things are are totally beyond your control.  Facebook is such a blessing to be able to be in touch with so many other adoptive families-  to share advice, ask questions, and learn so much about this crazy journey we are on- but it can also be dangerous, because there is a huge temptation to constantly measure your progress against everyone else.  I was in touch with a number of people who were fingerprinted weeks after we were and got their approval sooner.  Why? We will never know, and really it doesn't matter.  This adoption will happen according to God's plan and not ours.  Everything will come to be in his perfect timing.

Our next steps are getting that DTC email from our agency (this step is a huge deal in the adoption journey because it means that all of our paperwork is done, it's in order, and it's shipped to China!)
A few days to a few weeks later (or in our case, maybe a few months, lol)... we'll receive notification that we are LID (Logged In Dossier).  This means that China has acknowledged receipt of our paperwork and we are logged into their computer system.  At this stage we are eligible to receive matches of children with more mild special needs.   It is said that you can usually expect to travel approximately 4 months after you are LID.

Between LID and travel is another slew of paperwork, and of course more waiting.

At this point, we are assuming the earliest we might travel is June.  We were really hoping to travel sooner, as airfare costs double during June/July/August, but as long as we have kiddo home before Christmas next year we won't complain!  There are of course certain benefits to getting to travel in June... that means that our time off from work will also coincide with my favorite months of the year, and  will allow us to have more than a week of  "summer vacation" just one time in our adult lives.  This is not necessarily good news for my coworkers, as these are the busiest months of the year in our industry, but of course I have no control whatsoever over when we get to go to China. I will feel bad leaving during such a busy time, but after waiting this long to finally meet our child, there will be nothing holding me back from traveling at the first available opportunity.

It seems like we have been on this journey for so long already, but in reality it hasn't even been a year yet!  I saw on my personal Facebook the other day in my "on this day" app that it was just about one year ago exactly that we really started exploring the idea of adopting.  So in one year, we went from thinking about adopting to having all the initial paperwork done and turned in to do so!

Because we know that aboslutely no progress in our case will occur during the next couple of weeks, we are using this time to get as many applications in for grants as possible.  We have been working so hard to save every penny possible these past 6 months, and have also been so incredibly blessed by your generous contributions to our fundraisers, but we are still figuring we have between $7,000-$9,000 to come up with,  so we are going to submit as many applications for adoption grants as we can.

Our kitchen table has looked like this for months, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

It's hard not to stress about the finances in this process, but just as God promised on that night back in March, He has been faithful at each step along this journey.  Last week we submitted our second round of big fees, and between what we had saved up from the puzzle fundraiser and our personal savings we had exactly enough to cover the costs. 

And while my head spins at the thought that we still have 2/3 or more of the adoption costs ahead of us (a large portion being the travel costs), I know that God will provide.  Worry Less, Love More, right?

Puzzle Update

Today marks exactly 3 months since we began our Puzzle Fundraiser, and our puzzle is a little over 25% complete!  So far, we have received sponsorship for 257 of the 1,000 pieces, and have 743 still available.    If we were to sponsor each one of the remaining pieces at an average of $10 each, our adoption would be fully funded!  (Pieces can be sponsored for as little as $1.00 each- see complete instructions here:

Here is how the puzzle looks today:

The pieces right side up are the ones that are still available.  While I realize we may never complete the entire puzzle, I really hope to at least finish the border and the big dragon before our trip to China.

Thank you so much to all of you who pray for us, who follow along in our journey, and who let us know that you're thinking of us.  It really means the world to us to know that we aren't alone in this journey, and we hope that in another month or two we'll have a picture of a precious child to share with you all!

I wish you all a happy, health, 2016!

If you have any interest in Chinese culture, do a little research on the Chinese New Year celebrations.  2016 is the year of the Monkey, and the Chinese New Year beings February 7th.  We might head to a local celebration this weekend that is being sponsored by our home study agency to learn more about the holiday for ourselves.

Paperwork Progress (or lack thereof), Thirty-One Fundraiser, and Thoughts on Spending

I've been waiting to publish a new blog post until we had some good news regarding the progress of our "paper chase,"  but things are moving a little slowly in that department.
We turned in our homestudy paperwork to our social worker 2 1/2 weeks ago, hoping that we would have a draft of the report within a couple of days.  We are still yet to see that draft, but I've been told it would be here this weekend, so I'm doing my best to remain patient.
I know in my heart that things will all happen according to God's perfect plan for this adoption, and that I shouldn't get myself so worked up about timelines, but its hard not to when you know that with each day that passes, your child is without a family and a home.  I need to trust that God will care for our child until we are able to, and let go of my anxiety.
Today we will take the last few documents we have to be notarized and certified, and will likely try to get some photos printed as well, as we have to send in sets of photos with out dossier, some of just the two of us, and some with us along with other people.

So that's where we stand.  Once our Home Study draft comes back to us, we'll begin a mad dash towards working on our goal of getting all of our dossier paperwork to China (DTC) by the end of the year.  At this point it's looking like we have a 50/50 shot of making that goal, but that doesn't mean that I'll give up on it.  

That means we still have to:
-get our 11 docs we have certified authenticated, which means sending them all to D.C. to pass through the US Embassy and the Chinese Consulate 
-once those docs are authenticated they  can be sent to our agency to go in our Dossier
-review our Home Study draft for accuracy when we get it back
-let our Home Study (HS) agency know it's good to go
- HS agency will print documents, have them notarized
-we will have home study certified and authenticated
-they will send to our placing agency (CCAI) 
-we will also send a copy in with our I-800A application to immigration
-we will receive our fingerprinting appointment and go to be fingerprinted
-receive our I-800A approval notice, get that notarized/certified/authenticated
-overnight that to CCAI as it will be the final piece in our dossier
-Once they have all of the 13 documents and supporting docs that make up our dossier, CCAI will review them, translate them, and ship them to China

Pretty hefty goal to have all of that happen in just 5-6 weeks, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to give up just yet....  we will do our best, and if it doesn't all come together by 12/31, then we'll know it just wasn't meant to be.


Puzzle Update:
Our puzzle piece fundraiser is off to a great start!  It's hard to know how much to advertise the event vs. just letting things happen as they will.  I have noticed that with each post I do on Facebook it seems to spur one or two additional sponsorship each time, so I'm trying to just limit myself to one post every 2-3 days.  I hope people are enjoying seeing the puzzle progress along. Here's an image of where the puzzle stood as of a couple of days ago.  We still have over 900 pieces to go, but we've made some great progress so far!

Thirty-One Fundraiser

One huge blessing that has come our way recently is that a friend of ours who is a sales consultant for Thirty-One reached out to us and offered to do a party for us, in which she would donate all of her earnings to our adoption fund.  I was nervous to do this at the same time as our puzzle piece fundraiser for fear that people would think we asking too much.  In the end, I decided I should never turn down an offer of support, and that if we were going to do a sale, the best time to do it would be now so that people could get some of their Holiday Shopping taken care of, all while supporting a great cause.  I am so glad we said yes!  This event is turning out to be a great help to us, and will also allow us to get quite a few travel bags that we can use for our trip to China for FREE! :)  It was also nice to have a little get together in our home, and spend some time with some friends I just don't see nearly enough of.
Our sale is winding down, and orders need to be placed by midnight tomorrow night (11/22), but if you'd like to take a peak, here is the link:  https://www.mythirtyone.com/1730186/shop/Party/EventDetail/8781339

Here is the customer special for this month, along with some great bundling ideas making use of the special:

Thoughts On Spending:
In the meantime, while we wait for the Home Study draft,I'm keeping myself busy with Christmas cards (almost all of them have been mailed out... woo hoo!), thank you cards, and will begin working on grant applications this weekend so that once our home study application is done we can pop those in the mail!  
We will have about $7,500 in fees to pay before our Dossier can be sent to China, and then another big chunk (around $4,000) before we can receive our referral for a child, so we're doing everything we can to save whatever money we can, and I will be applying for a lot of grants.
The good news is, we now have enough points saved up on one of our credit cards to pay for at least half of our hotel stays in China, and James found a great deal online where if we put our next two big fees on this other new card, we should be able to get at least one of our plane tickets paid for in points.  Every little bit is going to help in the end!
One thing I thought about last night is that even though I'm able to save hundreds of dollars each month, I don't really feel like we're missing out on anything.  Sure, it would be nice to be able to eat out more often, but I keep asking myself what else I would be spending that money on if I wasn't saving for this adoption.  I realized how many things I can convince myself that I "need" just because I have the ability to purchase them (new clothes, items for the home, special treats, electronics, etc).  Right now I'm not feeling for need of anything (ok, the dream of a hot tub is still here, but that's just never going to go away)-  I'm aware that we have WAY more than we will ever need, and it's actually quite freeing to just commit to not buying anything other than food and essentials.  Once I stopped looking at the sale ads every week, and told myself NO, I realized that it's really not that hard to just start appreciating the things we do have instead of constantly searching for more, more, more.
One sort of funny thing that happened recently is that while we were in Costco I noticed they had some REALLY nice winter boots for around $40.  Now the boots that I have are working fine, but they soles are getting a little worn, so I have to wear these special gripper things on them so that I don't slip and fall on the ice.  They are still super warm, and are in good shape, but I've been wearing them for about 5 or 6 winters now so I know I've gotten my money's worth.  The first time I saw the Costco boots I stood firm and just said "no, Kristen, you don't need those, you can wear yours another year or two and just be thankful you have warm boots at all".  The second time I saw them, it was more like "weeeell, it's only $40, and it could save you a $100 co-pay if you slip and fall on the ice again and need to go to the ER, and what if your boots give out on you (not likely) and then you have to buy some last minute and spend more than $40... NO YOU DON'T NEED THEM... KEEP WALKING".  Then the third time I saw them, there was only one pair left in my size and of course I just lost all self-control.  I figured I would buy them, set them aside for emergencies only, and if I could make it through the winter without wearing them, I'd just return them and get my money back. (you see how my mind works?  tricky, huh?).  Well, low and behold... the boots didn't fit right, they weren't comfortable, and they just weren't going to work for me!  I was so RELIEVED!   No more temptation!  James and I laughed so hard on the way home about how much time I had spend deliberating over one stupid purchase, and it would have been solved the very first day if I would have just tried them on.
Lesson learned?  Yes, my boots are totally fine (better than whatever my child has, I'm sure) and I will wear them this winter and be GLAD for them.  And I will no longer allow myself to go through the middle aisles at Costco...  It's necessity aisles only from here on out!

It is going to be hard for me to skip out on all of the Christmas shopping this year, just because I truly enjoy giving gifts, and I do enjoy searching for bargains and joining in on the Holiday Shopping. I also know that giving our family the gift of a grandson, nephew/niece, cousin, etc means more to anyone than whatever electric blanket, pot or pan, or sheet set could ever mean though, so that will get me through.  We are excited to do some small homemade gifts for our closest relatives and will enjoy the extra time together we will get to spend preparing those items.

Paperwork Progress and Photoshoot Sneak Peak!

James and I have been making great progress in our "paper chase" process for our adoption.  It's so good to finally feel like we are really moving forward in the overall process.  We had a little while where we really weren't able to get much accomplished due to me being ill, but the past two weeks we have managed to get a lot of steps checked off the list and it feels so good!
Last Friday was James' birthday, so we had requested the day off of work back in January of last year assuming we would possibly take a mini vacation or just do something fun.  Little did he know that 10 months later he'd find himself spending his "fun" birthday having a photo shoot done, visiting the notary's office, and then spending the afternoon at the Doctor's office and then getting more lab work done (they ordered the wrong tests last week)!  When you work full time, you have to make the best out of those days off! Despite the fact that no one wants to spend their birthday at the doctor, it was still such a giddy, happy feeling to know that we were making such great progress in just one day.
We did manage to spend some quality time having fun with friends in celebration of his birthday after running all of those errands. We have been trying to keep to a very strict budget to save as much money as possible for our adoption, but it was very nice to have a night out for a special occasion.  We joined two of my friends for a hockey game (our city is home to a feeder team for the Detroit Red Wings) and then visited a couple of local breweries in town.

Yesterday (Halloween) was another very productive day- we woke up early (for a Saturday) and took a few more documents to be notarized, and then visited the Secretary of State's office to have them certified.  Walking into the S.o.S. office at 11:30, my heart SUNK when I saw the lobby-  there must have been at LEAST 150 people in there. There was no place to sit, people were line along all of the walls, sitting on the floor, and all looking very frustrated.  I had never seen so many people in there.  I took a deep breath and resigned myself to spending our entire afternoon in that office, but when we went to do the "pre-check" the lady told us to step right up to the counter and someone would be right out to help us.  We ended up waiting about 10 minutes and then the manager came out and asked us just a few question and then got to work.  Until this moment I really had no idea what this "certification" step really entailed, but really all it is is the S.o.S. clerk looking up the name of the notary or county clerk on each document in their database, and then printing out a cover sheet to attach to each document that verifies that person is actually authorized to issue or notarize that document.  Then they put a big gold seal on the front of the cover letter and staple the cover letter to your document.  another seal goes over the staple (folded over the two documents) so that they will know it hasn't been tampered with, and then another staple goes through the seal. Walking out of there I saw a few people give us not-so-friendly glares (I'm sure they were wondering why we got to cut in line... we still don't know why, but I'm not complaining) but that could not stifle my excitement about having this step behind us!
Let me tell you, I was more exited about these gold seals (and the fact they stood for progress towards bringing our child home) than most kids are about Halloween Candy!

I was on such a role that when we got home from running errands I got right to work in planning for our next fundraising effort (stay tuned).  Due to it being very cold and rainy weather we had very few trick or treaters, so I was able to nearly finish that task, and will be launching the campaign later today.

The next step in our paper chase is to have these documents authenticated by the Chinese consulate.  Unlucky for us, the consulate we are assigned to in Chicago actually drastically changed their rules this past Thursday, which means that 4 or 5 of our 10 certified documents no longer meet their notarization requirements.  Rather than starting from scratch on those items, we will be sending our paperwork through the consulate in Washington D.C.  For whatever reason, each consulate has very different rules, and when you use D.C. the documents first have to go through the U.S. Department of State.  Thankfully, there are courier services who will help you navigate through all of this, since documents have to be walked into these locations in person to avoid weeks of delays if you mail the documents.  Once we gather up the next two dossier documents (James' employment verification letter and our completed home study) and get them certified, we will send our documents to a courier service, and (for a fee of course) they will handle getting them authenticated by the U.S. Department of State and then the Chinese Consulate and and them mail them back to us.  At this point they will be ready to send to our adoption agency, who will translate them and then send them on to China.  This collection of documents (comprised of medical checks, marriage license, birth certificates, photographs, employment letters, doctor's letters, etc) is called your Dossier, and the date it is acknowledged as received  by China is referred to as your LID, for "Logged In Dossier".  LID is a huge milestone in the adoption journey, and means that you are close to being matched with files of children to review.  Our goal right now is to be LID sometime in January or February.  There is a one or two week shutdown at the beginning of the year for Chinese New Year, so that might end up pushing our LID into February, but hopefully not much further out than that.

This week our big milestone will be meeting with our Home Study social worker on Wednesday to turn in all of our paperwork for the home study process (most of that is just photocopies of certain documents needed for the dossier).  Our agency's policy is that they have 10 business days to completed a draft of our home study report.  We will then receive a copy, and have the chance to proof-read and request any changes before it is sent on to our adoption agency for what is called "critical review".

We would have been able to turn everything in this past week, but of course the doctor's forms were the last piece we were waiting on, and our social worker left for an extended vacation the day before our appointments. It is going to feel SO good to hand her our paperwork, knowing that one of the two biggest steps in the adoption process is complete!

I'm sure that all of that is WAY more than you all wanted to know about adoption paperwork, but it's important to me to try and document as much of our journey as possible to one day share with our adopted child(ren).  I also hope that some of you reading this might be fellow adoptive parents yourselves-  I know that reading the blogs of others has really helped us through our process, so any insight I can share for others to help them along would be worth my while! 

Now we will shift our attention to preparing for the next two big fees we have coming up, our home study fee and our second agency fee.  Stay tuned for another post today announcing our next fundraising venture to help us with these costs.

Here is a sneak peak at some of our favorite photos from our shoot last week.  I am so blessed to have a good friend with an awesome gift of photography!  I'll be honest, when we were taking these photos we were really just having a lot of fun with it and it was a very lighthearted experience, but every time I look at a few of these shots I get a little teary-eyed.

[This is one of them that gets me every time...]

Home Study Visit #1

Wow, I really got behind on my updates... where does the time go?!
I guess for us the past couple of weeks pretty much went to yard sale prep, yard sale, and yard sale recovery (more to come on the sale in a separate post).

I promised that I would do a post regarding our first home study visit, so here it is.

Because our adoption agency is based out of Colorado (and we live in Michigan), we had to contract with another (local) agency to complete our home study.  We were given a list of about 5-10 different agency choices, and noticed a wide variety in pricing.  I found the most cost-friendly agency, did a little bit of research to make sure others who had used them previously were satisfied, and went ahead and sent them my application.  Being a very small agency, it did take quite a while to hear anything back and to get this process going (come to find out I applied just shortly before the whole office shut down for vacation for a week).  However, once we finally got connected with our assigned Social Worker, things began to go very smoothly.

Lucky for us, our assigned social worker has a regular full time job on top of this duty, so her availability for meetings is on nights and weekends (one of the things I worried about was that our social worker would want to meet during daytime/working hours, which doesn't work for us).  She reached out to me on August 24th and we set up our first meeting for the 29th.

Going into this visit, I really had no idea what to expect.  Of course before the visit I scoured all of my adoption Facebook groups for hints and tips from others, and found some people saying their social worker probed into every cupboard and closet in their home and others who said the visit is more about YOU than your house.  Some said that the social worker probed into every nook and cranny of  their personal lives (one said theirs even asked about their "intimacy") and others said it was just a casual "get to know you" conversation.

We tried not to stress out about the visit too much.  We enjoyed some quality time together Friday evening, and then woke up early Saturday morning to get the house cleaned and ready for whatever level of "inspection" might come our way. We moved all the chemicals up to the top shelves of closets and cleaned the rest of the house, but didn't go too crazy (there was no baseboard scrubbing or wall washing). Our social worker arrived around 3:30 in the afternoon.  Before she even asked to see the house, we all sat around the table for a little over an hour.  She spent a lot of time talking about the agency she works for, as well as her own experience with adopting her daughter from China.  She did ask us some basic questions about our lives (marriage, work, pets, etc). and asked about what led us to adoption.
We had some questions about the process, which she also answered for us, and she gave us a binder to help us keep track of the documents we need to gather for our home study.
Overall, it was just a really nice time of sharing stories and making connections.

Before she got ready to leave she did ask for a tour of the house, but she didn't bother going through closets or ask to see the insides of any drawers, etc.  She just wanted to make sure we had a bedroom for our child, our house was generally safe and clean, and that our dogs weren't viscous (that was settled about 2 seconds after she walked through the door).  She asked about if we had any guns in the home, smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors, but she wasn't worried about a fire escape plan, child safety locks, etc.

This was the first of 4 visits we will have with her. Our next visit is scheduled for this coming Monday evening.   We could have got it in sooner, but needed to take some time to really devote to the big yard sale fundraiser we hosted last weekend.  The one thing I do know that will take place at this next visit is individual interviews with each of us without the other one present.  I'm sure this is just to make sure we are both on the same page about adoption, child-rearing ideas, and so forth, but I guess we'll find out for sure soon!

We appreciate the casual, laid-back nature of our social worker.  She did reveal to us that in her near 20 years of doing home studies, she has only had to deny one applicant,and it was a pretty extreme situation (mental illness, unsuitable housing, etc).  Hearing that definitely put our minds at ease in a huge way!  I had been so worried that maybe even having foster cats in the house at the time, or the fact that our deck rails might not be up to code might create problems for us...oh, the things we worry ourselves with!

Now we need to focus on the paperwork gathering process.  I've already sent in for (and received) copies of our birth certificates, marriage license, and we went and got our police clearance letters- now we need to get/renew our passports and gather a few other letters from our employers and so forth.  Once we get all of the letters and documents together we have to get them notarized, and then send the notarized copies into the state so that they can certify the notaries are valid.  They definitely call it a "paper chase" for a reason!

One of my friends posted this diagram on Facebook a few weeks ago which I thought really summed up the whole process pretty nicely for those who have no connection to it.

As always, we appreciate your comments and would love to hear what questions any of you might have for us! I've really immersed myself into the "adoption culture" these past couple of months and sometimes it's hard for me to remember what the average person does and doesn't know, and what you all might be curious about.

It's REALLY happening!

Today is my half-birthday.

This is not normally a day that would ever really warrant much attention or special focus, but this year is different for one big reason.

China's requirement to apply for adoption is that each applicant has to be at least 29 1/2 years of age.

Today marks the day I reach that age.  What did we do to celebrate?  WE SUBMITTED OUR APPLICATION TO OUR AGENCY!!!!

Yes folks, this is really happening!  Ready or not, here we are!

I've had butterflies in my stomach all day thinking about this, and now that I've hit "send," I'm overwhelmed with such a wide variety of emotions... relief, anticipation, excitement, worry, stress, nausea... you name it!

Two nights ago, we also submitted a preliminary Medical Conditions Checklist, commonly referred to as a MCC.  The nice thing about that document is that they let you update it as often as you'd like.  Because it's the submission date that technically holds your spot in line for a child, we wanted to at least get ours "on the books", but it will certainly be something we will continue to research and work on as we go.  I'm hoping to enlist the support and advice of my friends and family in the medical field to help me navigate through some of the conditions we aren't familiar with.

What now?  Well, at this point we wait to hear back from our agency to see whether or not we've been approved.
We also have to submit a separate application to our Home Study agency, which I will start work on over the weekend.  We have a houseful of family members staying with us this weekend, so I need to focus my energy on getting the house ready for guests the next day or two.

Tonight my sister asked me if I was really ready to become a "mommy."  My response was "well, in some ways yes, in other ways no... but the ways in which I do not feel ready I don't think I ever will... so here goes nothing!"  It's really the little things that get us so excited, like the thought of this possibly being our last Christmas without a little one the house, and the thought of seeing our beloved dogs bond to our child, and family walks around our neighborhood that get me the most excited.

As soon as we have an approval back on our application we will be kicking in to heavy fundraising mode.  We'll just just a couple of months to come up with almost $5000 to cover our first agency fee as well as hour home study fee.  I have a few ideas for fundraisers that we plan on doing.  The first one will be a T-Shirt fundraiser, followed by a yard sale/bake sale/pop can drive, and then we will also likely be doing something to send out with Christmas Cards.  I'm hoping not to have to do too many event-style fundraisers, as I know our home study is going to pre-occupy most of our free time outside of work, but we will see what happens.  We're committed to doing whatever it takes to bringing home our son or daughter as quickly as possible.

This also means we make dramatic changes to our budget.  June and July included our last trips that we will take, most likely until we go to China to pick up our child.  We spent a week camping in the Upper Peninsula, and enjoyed every last minute of it.  We will also do everything we can to save money wherever possible, including not eating out, avoiding spending money on unnecessary house projects, new clothes, etc.  

Well, that's all for now!  I just felt it would have been silly not to write a post on this VERY important day in our journey, and I know it's been a while since my last update.  We've been busy enjoying summer, taking care of our fur-kids, and doing as much research on China and on adoptions as possible.

If you have any questions about the process, or about anything related to China Adoptions, please let me know in the way of a comment and I will be happy to do a post that tries to answer all of the questions I get in.

Please pray for us these next few days as we wait to hear back from our agency.

If you'd like to learn more about them, you can visit their webpage at: www.ccaifamily.org

What now?

Now that I've shared with you stories of what has led us to this point in our lives, you may be wondering where we are actually at in our journey.

About 3 or 4 years ago, we decided to attend an informational meeting on international adoption at a local adoption agency.  We knew we weren't ready to adopt at that point, but we knew it was often a very long process and wanted to learn more so that we could be sure to begin the journey a few years before we thought we'd be ready for children rather than find ourselves ready, and then get trapped in the waiting game.

After planning for many years to grow a family via international adoption, it was surprising to me that the meeting we attended actually pushed our hearts away from that path.  We left the meeting wondering whether international adoption was right for us -- not just at that current time, but ever.
I'm so thankful for the truths that were addressed in the meeting -- they were very transparent about the costs, the trauma that is often experienced by the child in being uprooted from everything they've ever known, and the "red tape" that surrounds the process.

At that time, we decided to step back from adoption planning, and instead focus the next few years on growing our careers and getting where we wanted to be with our house.  Since that time, I have done more research and focused more thought towards both domestic infant adoption, and domestic foster care adoption.  For a while, we were fairly certain we would pursue the foster-to-adopt program.

However, time and time again, my heart kept pulling me towards international adoption.  I often have people ask me "Why don't you just help a child here (meaning the U.S.)?... There are SO MANY that need good homes."  And I could spend a whole lot of time attempting  to answer that, but what I really want to say is:
1.  If you have a heart for those children, why aren't YOU helping them?
2.  Why does it matter where a child comes from?   A child is a child, and if one is U.S. born and one isn't, but neither of them have parents to love and care for them, does it really matter who we help?

I won't spend much time going into this "debate" here - just know that I've done my research, and I've done my homework.  I know that domestic adoption is "cheaper", and I know there are plenty of DESERVING children who need homes right here in Grand Rapids/Michigan/the U.S.  But God has placed China on our hearts, and however I try to push it aside, that calling keeps getting louder and louder.  I will follow where He leads us,  and right now I am fairly certain he is leading us towards China.  This doesn't mean we have closed our minds to other options, or that we will never pursue a domestic adoption, but for right now, the plan is to adopt from China.

China's rule is that you have to be 29 1/2 years old to apply to adopt a child.  So, while we wait for me to meet that requirement (1 month from today!), we have been doing as much research as possible on Chinese adoptions, culture, their one child policy, their orphanage situation, and so forth.  And the more we learn, the more confident we are that our child is in China.

We decided that before we started a family, we wanted to be intentional about getting back into the habit of attending church on a regular basis, so that we were getting fed with solid teaching, and also that we would be part of a church community during what is sure to be the most trying time of our lives.  I was hoping to find a church community close to where we are currently living, but we were having a hard time finding what we were looking for.

Throughout and shortly after college, I (and James once we began dating) attended a church we LOVED called Madison Square Church.  We were married by a pastor there, and did our marriage counseling with her.  Last Saturday night, feeling discouraged by the options we were finding near our home, I went to Madison's website and learned that the pastor who had married us had become head pastor of a new campus.  I knew right away I wanted to check it out, as I had really wanted to find a smaller congregation to join.  The next morning, we made the 25 minute drive across town to visit "Madison North" for the first time, and as soon as I walked in the door I knew we were "home."  It's exactly the type of community, worship, and message delivery we have been looking for, and what a blessing to have the person who helped us begin our marriage journey is in a place of leadership.

Another change I knew I needed to make before beginning this journey involved my career.  I had taken a position as a CSR with Chemical Bank in March 2012, and quickly grew my career under the leadership of a wonderful boss. I was able to learn so much and really grow my professional skill-set, along with form many friendships that I know will last for years to come.  Last summer, I was made Assistant Branch Manager, and while this was a huge honor, when I accepted the promotion I did so with hesitation, because I was already starting to feel a little burnt out.  What people don't always realize about me, is that even though I'm a very sociable person, and find it very easy to connect with others, being a social setting all day is absolutely draining to me.  My job involved wearing about 10 different hats on a daily basis, a lot of interruptions, switching gears from one task to the next, and a large amount of customer service.  At age 29, I was finding myself suffering from high cholesterol, frequent heart palpitations, and even sudden short-term memory loss.  I knew that there was just no way I could go through such a stressful life situation, let alone become a parent while I was working in a job that was so mentally and physically draining of my energy.  It was so hard for me to decide to leave, because I felt in many ways that I was "failing"; that I should be able to handle it all. However, I knew I had to be fair to myself (and my future child) and admit that I just couldn't handle all of that stress.  I felt like I was letting everyone down, including my boss, who had been so encouraging to me the past few years.  I hated to say goodbye to some of my customers, my work team, and a role I had become so confident in. For the first time in my life, I had found myself becoming confident, assertive, and sure of myself- the thought of trading that in for a new role in which I would be the new person, the trainee, the one who asked questions instead of answer them was all very intimidating.
I put my trust in God that He would open the right door for me, and sure enough, one June 8th I began my new position in our mortgage department.  I am now working in the "back of the house", processing files for mortgage lenders.  I have no customer interaction, and rather than wearing 20 different hats on any given day, I just wear one.  I am not responsible for anyone else, and I have no team to help manage, no sales goals to meet, track, and measure, and no office to help manage.  The new job is still of course very busy- but it's doing one thing all day, with very little interruptions.  I have been so much less stressed since starting the job, and have so much more energy each night when I get home.  I miss my customers and my co-workers, and I miss being part of a great network of branches and teammates, but I know that this change was exactly what I needed for this period of my life.

We are also focusing on our budget, and how to find ways to save money, as we know that the expense of this journey is going to be tremendous.  It is almost certain we will be undertaking in a few different fundraising efforts, but will not begin any of those until we hear back on our application process.

The last major change James and I are making in our lives is the way that we take care of our bodies.  As we leave our 20s, we were finding ourselves gaining weight, feeling more tired, and just realizing we can't keep eating bagel bites and french fries and keep our bodies going strong.  We would never want to raise a child on the kind of diet we had gotten so used to eating, so it was time to get healthy and start fueling our bodies with real nutrition.  We have been exercising more, and trying to avoid processed food, while eliminating as much added sugar and carbs from our diet as we can.  My husband has been a champion at this-  while I have been researching "all things adoption", he has been researching nutrition, health, and recipes, and also doing most of the cooking for us.  We feel better than we ever have in our lives, and I'm so thankful to have him as my coach in those times I feel like giving up and eating a whole pack of Oreos.  My circulation has improved, I find myself more alert and clear-minded, and even just feeling happier and less lethargic.

The other big step will be completing soon is what's called a "Medical Conditions Checklist", commonly referred to as an MCC.  This is the part of your application file that actually seals your place in line for placement with a child.  This document gives you the opportunity to make requests for any specific age group or gender, and also has you say yes or no to each individual medical condition that a waiting child might have. This does not commit you to accepting any particular child or condition, but just gives the agency an idea of what you are looking for in terms of a match so that they can best match you with a child in need.  We will be completing this document with the advice of a few medical professionals, along with a lot of prayerful consideration.  If you are wondering how you can help us during this time, I will say that this is it- please pray for wisdom and guidance for us as we complete this particular part of the process.  We want to remain as open as possible, but it's also important to keep in consideration what we would be able to deal with financially as well as emotionally.  If you would like to learn more about the MCC, here is some information: http://www.ccaifamily.org/WaitingChild/Med-Checklist/Default.aspx

So, as you can see, we are in a state of "preparation".And that is what what we've been up to:  changing my job, changing our diets, doing our research, finding a Church family, and trying to make a financial plan.  So while we haven't exactly "began" the process, we are certainly in the mode of preparing our lives, our hearts, and our bodies for the big journey that lays ahead of us.

Our hope is that we will be submitting our formal application to adopt within the next two months.

My next blog post will focus more on China's adoption program, what I have learned so far about the current orphan situation in China, and a little about the agency we have chosen to work with and why we selected them.

I will leave you with an excerpt from the book that tells the story of the couple who started that agency, "Bound by Love."  This passage really touched my heart and affirmed my calling to pursue an adoption from China.

"I'm working as fast as I can to get them out [of the dark, dirty orphanage].  There's no time left to help those left behind.  But who else will help?  They have no family, no power, no authority. Yet someone must speak for them."