Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Hello friends!

How is it possible that more than a month has gone by since my last update?!  I guess it's a good thing that time is going by quickly, because when I think about how far we are from traveling to China I get really discouraged, but thinking about how quickly the past two months have gone gives me hope that these next ones will pass by quickly too.

I would love to tell you that I have a lot of new information to share regarding our adoption progress, but that sadly is not really the case.   We have made significant progress, just not as much as I would have liked. One of the main reasons you haven't heard from us is that there really just wasn't much information to share.  And I know that you had no interest in hearing me whine and complain about how slow everything seemed to be moving through these past couple of steps.

Another reason is that I really just needed some time to grieve through the experience of having had to say no to the first file match.  I was not expecting to be matched that early in the process, and was definitely not prepared to have to say no to a file.  I still pray for that little boy every single day.  His file is still on our agency's website which means he has not yet been matched with a family.  Please join me in saying a prayer that he will be matched soon.

Here is what has changed since my last post.

We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas holiday spending time with my parents.  My mom is going through some medical issues right now and may be feeling a little under the weather these next few months, so it was really nice to spend some quality time together and getting out and having some fun while she was still feeling up to it.  We grilled steaks on Christmas day and took a drive out to a local lake (because when it's 45 and sunny on Christmas day in Michigan... you feel the need to be at the lake I guess), we visited our local public museum, saw a movie at the theater using a gift card I've been saving up, and just enjoyed our time together.

On Monday 12/28 I sent the first 11 documents in to our adoption agency, and also notified them that we would not be pursuing the file of the little boy I had told you about.

 Here is what a 95% completed Dossier looks like:

I had already scheduled the day off work, and was able to walk in early for my fingerprinting, and thankfully they allowed me to do so.  This all worked out wonderfully because I got the paper I needed in order to do my fingerprints that day the Saturday before, just in the nick of time.
James had a busy week at work that week, so he wasn't able to go in and get his fingerprints done until his scheduled appointment time, the following Monday (1/4).
The fingerprinting is required for our US Immigration, and once you get fingerprinted you are waiting one on little piece of paper to be mailed to you to tell you that you are approved to adopt by the Department of Homeland Security.  From everything I had been reading and seeing in the adoption groups on Facebook, people were getting their approval letters on average 4-10 days after their fingerprinting appointments.  Once this paper arrived, it needed to be notarized, certified, sent to the consulate for authentication and THEN sent to our agency to complete our Dossier.

Let me tell you how hard it was to come home every day from work to check the mailbox and get NOTHING for over 2 weeks.  It doesn't help that we can only get to the Secretary of State on Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings, so each Friday and Tuesday the form didn't come it was extra disappointing.
The approval FINALLY came on Friday 1/22-  Happy Birthday to me (Yahoo for being 30 and officially old enough to adopt from China)!  So of course the next morning we raced to the bank to get it notarized and then to the Secretary of State to have it certified.  By Monday at lunchtime it was on it's way to Chicago to be authenticated.  I thought we would JUST squeak in under the deadline to get it to our agency so they could get it to China before the Chinese government closes for Chinese New Year (CNY).  Sadly,I have learned that is not the case... we missed it by about 2 days.  The form will arrive to our agency tomorrow, but since the shutdown begins next week, our agency won't mail it until after CNY to avoid it getting lost.  Totally understandable, but this is the step we've been so eagerly waiting for for so long and it was a bit of a bummer to hear that it will be delayed by at least another week.

My initial goal was to be DTC (Dossier to China) by December 31, but the delays with our home study made it clear that wouldn't happen.  Then I set the goal of having that step reached for my birthday, but of course the delay with our fingerprinting approval held that up.  And now another delay that is out of our control-the biggest holiday of the year in China.  But honestly, that is just the name of the game in international adoption- you can do everything in your power to get things done quickly, but so much of the process is really just waiting on things are are totally beyond your control.  Facebook is such a blessing to be able to be in touch with so many other adoptive families-  to share advice, ask questions, and learn so much about this crazy journey we are on- but it can also be dangerous, because there is a huge temptation to constantly measure your progress against everyone else.  I was in touch with a number of people who were fingerprinted weeks after we were and got their approval sooner.  Why? We will never know, and really it doesn't matter.  This adoption will happen according to God's plan and not ours.  Everything will come to be in his perfect timing.

Our next steps are getting that DTC email from our agency (this step is a huge deal in the adoption journey because it means that all of our paperwork is done, it's in order, and it's shipped to China!)
A few days to a few weeks later (or in our case, maybe a few months, lol)... we'll receive notification that we are LID (Logged In Dossier).  This means that China has acknowledged receipt of our paperwork and we are logged into their computer system.  At this stage we are eligible to receive matches of children with more mild special needs.   It is said that you can usually expect to travel approximately 4 months after you are LID.

Between LID and travel is another slew of paperwork, and of course more waiting.

At this point, we are assuming the earliest we might travel is June.  We were really hoping to travel sooner, as airfare costs double during June/July/August, but as long as we have kiddo home before Christmas next year we won't complain!  There are of course certain benefits to getting to travel in June... that means that our time off from work will also coincide with my favorite months of the year, and  will allow us to have more than a week of  "summer vacation" just one time in our adult lives.  This is not necessarily good news for my coworkers, as these are the busiest months of the year in our industry, but of course I have no control whatsoever over when we get to go to China. I will feel bad leaving during such a busy time, but after waiting this long to finally meet our child, there will be nothing holding me back from traveling at the first available opportunity.

It seems like we have been on this journey for so long already, but in reality it hasn't even been a year yet!  I saw on my personal Facebook the other day in my "on this day" app that it was just about one year ago exactly that we really started exploring the idea of adopting.  So in one year, we went from thinking about adopting to having all the initial paperwork done and turned in to do so!

Because we know that aboslutely no progress in our case will occur during the next couple of weeks, we are using this time to get as many applications in for grants as possible.  We have been working so hard to save every penny possible these past 6 months, and have also been so incredibly blessed by your generous contributions to our fundraisers, but we are still figuring we have between $7,000-$9,000 to come up with,  so we are going to submit as many applications for adoption grants as we can.

Our kitchen table has looked like this for months, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

It's hard not to stress about the finances in this process, but just as God promised on that night back in March, He has been faithful at each step along this journey.  Last week we submitted our second round of big fees, and between what we had saved up from the puzzle fundraiser and our personal savings we had exactly enough to cover the costs. 

And while my head spins at the thought that we still have 2/3 or more of the adoption costs ahead of us (a large portion being the travel costs), I know that God will provide.  Worry Less, Love More, right?

Puzzle Update

Today marks exactly 3 months since we began our Puzzle Fundraiser, and our puzzle is a little over 25% complete!  So far, we have received sponsorship for 257 of the 1,000 pieces, and have 743 still available.    If we were to sponsor each one of the remaining pieces at an average of $10 each, our adoption would be fully funded!  (Pieces can be sponsored for as little as $1.00 each- see complete instructions here:

Here is how the puzzle looks today:

The pieces right side up are the ones that are still available.  While I realize we may never complete the entire puzzle, I really hope to at least finish the border and the big dragon before our trip to China.

Thank you so much to all of you who pray for us, who follow along in our journey, and who let us know that you're thinking of us.  It really means the world to us to know that we aren't alone in this journey, and we hope that in another month or two we'll have a picture of a precious child to share with you all!

I wish you all a happy, health, 2016!

If you have any interest in Chinese culture, do a little research on the Chinese New Year celebrations.  2016 is the year of the Monkey, and the Chinese New Year beings February 7th.  We might head to a local celebration this weekend that is being sponsored by our home study agency to learn more about the holiday for ourselves.

Things are getting real....

(note: this blog post is a bit delayed, but this day was very important in our overall journey and I wanted to make sure I got it recorded here)

Today marked a big step in our journey-

We mailed in our homestudy application with the $300 application fee.
It took us over a week to complete the application- it asked about everything from how our family celebrated Holidays growing up to what our school experiences were to how we resolve conflicts in our marriage.

We also mailed in our first agency fee of $2900.

To say I was a bit anxious handing over these envelopes to the clerk in the post office is an extreme understatement.  But it was also such a huge weight off my heart, as if I was FULLY committing to this journey for once and for all.

I'm not saying we weren't 100% sure before this moment, but as you can call imagine, once you've invested over $3,000 into a decision, the chances that you'll get cold feet and change your mind after that are PRETTY SLIM!

 The rest of the day at work was so painstakingly long.  It was so hard to think of anything else other than our adoption- about the fact that our child is out there somewhere, and we are really in the process of bringing them home to us now!

The next step is to wait to hear from the home study agency, and we will begin our meetings with a social worker and find out what else is involved in that process.

We will also be hearing from the adoption agency soon, and will find out more about what goes into compiling our Dossier (the large collections of certified, notarized documents that gets sent to China for them to officially approve you as an adoptive family).

That's all for today... cheers to the future and to becoming parents!

Application Approved!

Today while I was at work I received the email I didn't think would come for a few more days... that our application to CCAI (our adoption agency) has been approved!

I felt like my heart was going to jump right out of my chest!  I guess this moment might be similar to the way someone feels after taking a positive pregnancy test... the "oh boy, this is really happening" though that's immediately followed by the "oh boy, we still have a LOT of hurdles to overcome" thought.

We celebrated tonight by getting take-out from our favorite local Chinese restaurant.  Cliche' I know, but it was all I could think of eating! :)

(One of the fortunes from the cookies tonight read: "You will be asked to step up to the plate in new ways" I'm sure that is certainly going to prove to be true!)

With this great news also came the reminder that our first agency fee is now due, which totals $2900.  Let the fundraising officially begin!

I was so excited to come home and launch the campaign for the t-shirts that I designed a couple of months ago, but unfortunately the website I'm using is giving me troubles, and their support team is only available 9am-5pm, so that will have to wait until tomorrow.  Stay tuned!

So what's next for us in this adoption process?

Well, the first thing we have to do is read through and sign the 22 page set of documents that came with the approval email from our adoption agency.  Some of those forms will need to be notarized, so we will likely have to wait until Saturday morning when we can go visit a notary together (it sure is nice working for bank and having easy access to notary service!).

We also need to begin our home study process.  I chose a home study agency last week, and have gotten a whole set of forms from them that also needs to be filled out.  They have another fee that will need to be paid soon, but for now it's just a $350 application fee.

I have chosen to be very open about the different fees involved, not because I really want to draw attention to the costs, but mainly because I feel that if we are going to be asking others to contribute in the way of fundraising, I want to be very transparent about where those funds are going.

Some of you might be wondering what a home study is.  Well, to be totally honest, we are wondering the same thing ourselves, but I have gained a little bit of an idea through some research I've done.
Because the adoption agency we are using is in Colorado, and we obviously are not, we had to choose a different agency within our state to complete our home study.  A home study is the part of the application process that involves the complex "investigation" of our ability to parent, the stability of our relationship and financial situation, and the safety of our home.  After a series of meetings and a lot of paperwork, the home study agency will provide our adoption agency with a report in which they "prove" our worthiness as suitable candidates for the adoption of a child from China.  If I understand correctly, this report will then be translated and sent to China for review and approval from them.
This process will include in home meetings with a Social Worker, the review of our medical background, financial situation, and family history, letters of recommendations from friends, required parenting classes or online training, and loads and loads of paperwork. Thankfully, having worked in banking the past 5 years, paperwork is one thing I am totally used to and not at all overwhelmed by- but of course you can probably call my bluff on that a few months from now when I'm drowning in piles of certified, notarized, copies of every personal document known to man.

It's really starting to set in how real this is becoming, and how quickly.   Just a few short months ago we were having a conversation with relatives about how we just don't feel ready to begin the parenting journey, and now here we are, as ready as I'll ever be!

I attended a baby shower last night for a dear college friend, and we were discussing how surreal it is to think about the idea that my child has likely already been born.   As I was getting ready for work this morning, that thought really "set in."  I began to realize how much my heart aches to know if our child is safe, if he/she is being well cared for, and if they are being shown love from their caretakers.  Please join us in praying for the safety of our child, and for the preparation of all of our hearts as we begin this journey to become a family.  That child certainly has no idea what kind of journey lays ahead of them, and we hope that whatever we do, we can make it as smooth as possible for them.

Thanks again for following us in this crazy voyage, and please keep me posted if you have any questions you would like to see answered here.

Stay tuned for the launch of our t-shirt fundraiser!  Here's a sneak peak at the design:

Both the Chinese and the text below say "worry less, love more" and the URL for this site is printed on the back

It's REALLY happening!

Today is my half-birthday.

This is not normally a day that would ever really warrant much attention or special focus, but this year is different for one big reason.

China's requirement to apply for adoption is that each applicant has to be at least 29 1/2 years of age.

Today marks the day I reach that age.  What did we do to celebrate?  WE SUBMITTED OUR APPLICATION TO OUR AGENCY!!!!

Yes folks, this is really happening!  Ready or not, here we are!

I've had butterflies in my stomach all day thinking about this, and now that I've hit "send," I'm overwhelmed with such a wide variety of emotions... relief, anticipation, excitement, worry, stress, nausea... you name it!

Two nights ago, we also submitted a preliminary Medical Conditions Checklist, commonly referred to as a MCC.  The nice thing about that document is that they let you update it as often as you'd like.  Because it's the submission date that technically holds your spot in line for a child, we wanted to at least get ours "on the books", but it will certainly be something we will continue to research and work on as we go.  I'm hoping to enlist the support and advice of my friends and family in the medical field to help me navigate through some of the conditions we aren't familiar with.

What now?  Well, at this point we wait to hear back from our agency to see whether or not we've been approved.
We also have to submit a separate application to our Home Study agency, which I will start work on over the weekend.  We have a houseful of family members staying with us this weekend, so I need to focus my energy on getting the house ready for guests the next day or two.

Tonight my sister asked me if I was really ready to become a "mommy."  My response was "well, in some ways yes, in other ways no... but the ways in which I do not feel ready I don't think I ever will... so here goes nothing!"  It's really the little things that get us so excited, like the thought of this possibly being our last Christmas without a little one the house, and the thought of seeing our beloved dogs bond to our child, and family walks around our neighborhood that get me the most excited.

As soon as we have an approval back on our application we will be kicking in to heavy fundraising mode.  We'll just just a couple of months to come up with almost $5000 to cover our first agency fee as well as hour home study fee.  I have a few ideas for fundraisers that we plan on doing.  The first one will be a T-Shirt fundraiser, followed by a yard sale/bake sale/pop can drive, and then we will also likely be doing something to send out with Christmas Cards.  I'm hoping not to have to do too many event-style fundraisers, as I know our home study is going to pre-occupy most of our free time outside of work, but we will see what happens.  We're committed to doing whatever it takes to bringing home our son or daughter as quickly as possible.

This also means we make dramatic changes to our budget.  June and July included our last trips that we will take, most likely until we go to China to pick up our child.  We spent a week camping in the Upper Peninsula, and enjoyed every last minute of it.  We will also do everything we can to save money wherever possible, including not eating out, avoiding spending money on unnecessary house projects, new clothes, etc.  

Well, that's all for now!  I just felt it would have been silly not to write a post on this VERY important day in our journey, and I know it's been a while since my last update.  We've been busy enjoying summer, taking care of our fur-kids, and doing as much research on China and on adoptions as possible.

If you have any questions about the process, or about anything related to China Adoptions, please let me know in the way of a comment and I will be happy to do a post that tries to answer all of the questions I get in.

Please pray for us these next few days as we wait to hear back from our agency.

If you'd like to learn more about them, you can visit their webpage at: www.ccaifamily.org